Since there were not enough donations, and since I needed to set a good example for Frankie, who needed a haircut for school, I received my first haircut in 10 years (not counting shaved heads).
I told the hairdresser, a real good sport, to be creative. She really didn't care for the lack of direction, but I told her it couldn't be goofier than it was now, or goofier than a shaved head. After some deep thought, she decided on a Faux-Hawk. See the before and after pictures below.
Thanks to everyone that donated! The total so far is $620, though there appear to be some missing donations, so I will report back if the total changes.
(I think the new haircut really brings out my Polish nose...)